Come on girls...we are old enough now..I would rather say "too old" for this sort of a girly behaviour.....Let's grow out of the manipulative practices within friendships..!
I have always been an artless communicator. Very honest with what I felt but never the one to put it in the best possible way to please the other person. Straight-forward people are often called "rude", "ruthless" or "brash" in their manner....so I was!
When I was in college, I remember having confronted with friends about some misunderstandings because I felt terribly restless about it. but I expressed myself so artlessly that I ended up being "she is like that only, you know" type.
I remember having felt lonely many times then and wondering what did I say that was wrong.
There were friends who always behaved their best, some were tagged as totally avoidable, some entertaining therefore wanted in the group, some intelligent therefore in demand, some completely uninteresting....and so on. These are the years of life when we feel the need to be accepted by our group of friends. Some managed to manipulate, to be sweet to all and became very popular. Some, like me, never knew how to manipulate, how to talk to please others or at least not to be blunt to hurt others....but then what could we do about it? This art can not be learnt, I guess...
Honesty and frankness are probably not the best tools to be used to communicate.
so, I somehow always failed in group dynamics. I would say the right thing at a perfectly wrong time. but still I got friends who understood the person in me and accepted me as I was.
Once I became a professional, it did not seem as necessary to behave in a particular way so as to get acceptance in a group. I could easily stay away from those I did not approve of. It was possible to mingle with only those who I shared good rapport with. Project after project, groups changed and I kept floating from one group to another without much difficulty. I closely bonded with a few and also learnt to ignore those who did not fit my idea of friends.
All these years, I believed that the friendships that are formed in college or school days are the only relationships that are truly deep and strong. Once you settle yourself in the professional network, the real heart to heart, deep bonding seldom takes place. It only becomes a professional relation, to an extent even superficial.
My college and school friends are still my closest friends. I have observed that over the years, with exposure to life and the world, we change. We become aware of realities of life which are far from the rosy days we dream of while in college and school. We become independent, we live life in our own way and in the circumstances we find ourselves in. We grow with experiences in life and I am sure it strengthens the bond even more among close friends. We understand each other better with times. We stand by each other when need be. We laugh and make merry......even today....
but hello girls, after so many years of knowing each other, hating each other and then again loving each other, let us not go back to the same 16 year old girly fights and complaints....give me a break my girls!
I love you.....and I really cherish our friendship whatever happens....all of us do!
Just as we have matured over time or so I believe, let our friendships mature too!
I have always been an artless communicator. Very honest with what I felt but never the one to put it in the best possible way to please the other person. Straight-forward people are often called "rude", "ruthless" or "brash" in their manner....so I was!
When I was in college, I remember having confronted with friends about some misunderstandings because I felt terribly restless about it. but I expressed myself so artlessly that I ended up being "she is like that only, you know" type.
I remember having felt lonely many times then and wondering what did I say that was wrong.
There were friends who always behaved their best, some were tagged as totally avoidable, some entertaining therefore wanted in the group, some intelligent therefore in demand, some completely uninteresting....and so on. These are the years of life when we feel the need to be accepted by our group of friends. Some managed to manipulate, to be sweet to all and became very popular. Some, like me, never knew how to manipulate, how to talk to please others or at least not to be blunt to hurt others....but then what could we do about it? This art can not be learnt, I guess...
Honesty and frankness are probably not the best tools to be used to communicate.
so, I somehow always failed in group dynamics. I would say the right thing at a perfectly wrong time. but still I got friends who understood the person in me and accepted me as I was.
Once I became a professional, it did not seem as necessary to behave in a particular way so as to get acceptance in a group. I could easily stay away from those I did not approve of. It was possible to mingle with only those who I shared good rapport with. Project after project, groups changed and I kept floating from one group to another without much difficulty. I closely bonded with a few and also learnt to ignore those who did not fit my idea of friends.
All these years, I believed that the friendships that are formed in college or school days are the only relationships that are truly deep and strong. Once you settle yourself in the professional network, the real heart to heart, deep bonding seldom takes place. It only becomes a professional relation, to an extent even superficial.
My college and school friends are still my closest friends. I have observed that over the years, with exposure to life and the world, we change. We become aware of realities of life which are far from the rosy days we dream of while in college and school. We become independent, we live life in our own way and in the circumstances we find ourselves in. We grow with experiences in life and I am sure it strengthens the bond even more among close friends. We understand each other better with times. We stand by each other when need be. We laugh and make merry......even today....
but hello girls, after so many years of knowing each other, hating each other and then again loving each other, let us not go back to the same 16 year old girly fights and complaints....give me a break my girls!
I love you.....and I really cherish our friendship whatever happens....all of us do!
Just as we have matured over time or so I believe, let our friendships mature too!
मराठीतून का लिहीत नाहीस..? म्हणजे माझ्यासारख्या वाचकांनाही वाचता येईल..
ReplyDelete-- तात्या.
माझा ब्लॉग - http://tatya7.blogspot.in/
I believe one sign of maturity and growing up is to not let small things disturb us. We should be able to express ourselves truly and frankly with friends. Our real friends would be those who accept us not because of, but inspite of, what we are.
ReplyDelete