The Samaritans.

Samaritans Sahara, Mumbai.

The organisation has a helpline for the distressed and depressed people who at a particular point of time of their life need someone to talk to. That someone could be an anonymous person talking and listening to them from the other end of the telephone line. Samaritans offers such kind of help. The volunteers will listen to you and provide you with the required "emotional support" when it is most needed. They will not advise or guide or judge. They will only try and lead you to finding your own solution. You are free to express yourself, your feelings, depression with them. You may not even tell your name or identity. JUST CALL AND EXPRESS.

The Samaritans Sahara is affiliated to the Befrienders worldwide, UK.

In India, though the need for such a helpline is immense, the infrastructure is underdeveloped. The awareness among people about the existence of such helpline is minimal.

There are times in life when all is not well either around us or in our mind.

Why not resort to the telephone helpline to get over those ugly moments which may dangerously lead to committing suicide. A valuable life is lost only because there was no one to listen to him/her at that crucial moment.

We must accept that each one of us at some point or other and at different levels of intensity, do experience that hopelessness in life. Every person has his or her own way of dealing with such weak moments. Some get over it very easily by distracting themselves or engaging themselves somewhere else. But some become victims of those few seconds of hopelessness and may lose their lives in the heat of the moment.

I strongly recommend any helpline at such times.

Save your own life and lead it wonderfully.

Really, Life is beautiful!

Samaritans Sahara : helpline No. 022-32473267

They are also on facebook for more information.

2010....!

The year 2010 is almost over.

Honestly, when it comes to my professional work, the year has been good to me sparingly. But I can not deny the fact that I have enjoyed it all the same. I chose to enjoy other things in life working marginally all through the year. I have gone out with friends to watch films, to have yummy dinners along with tasty gossip. I went for shopping just whenever I felt like it. I spent time window shopping and having tea or coffee in cafes. I met my close friends and chatted my heart out.

It was wonderful doing all those things I could not do when I was tied up to work last year.

This year is special to me also because I read a lot, I wrote considerably and I instilled many good habbits in my mind.

I used this year to train my mind to be positive and vibrant always. I trained myself to appreciate what I possess. I trained myself to be happy even when friends n relatives were busy. So, many times I went for movies alone. I went for shopping alone. I enjoyed it to the hilt.

I would say, this year was rewarding to me in the sense that I learnt to make myself happy in the given situation. I realized that situations are never ideal. We have to make ourselves comfortable with the surroundings and their moods.

I have no plans for the year end and I am not unhappy about it unlike previous years.

I am content with the way I spent the year. I have no special expectations from the new year because I know that I am going to be happy any way.

I can see a delightful new year coming my way! I wish the same for all my readers and friends.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The Pink Flower Cafe.

"Sis, you must help me. This just needs to be done tonight. but I would be away for dinner at a friend's. Oh, please please, you just have to help me out with this"

I made a frantic phone call to my sister.

She was willing to help, of course, but "what is it actually?" she asked calmly.

"See, it's nothing. You just have to log in my Facebook profile, I ll give you my password. Then go to Cafe world and when my Pink Flower cafe opens, just click on one of the stoves where one particular recipe is cooking since yesterday. It takes one full day to cook. It would be ready at exactly 10.41pm. All you have to do is just click the stove when the recipe is ready so that it gets placed on my serving counter to be served to the customers...ok???" I was anxious.

"What????, Are you crazy?" my sister blurted out.

"Please please," I pleaded, almost anticipating her shocked reaction, "if you don't do it at exactly 10.41pm, the dish will go off after some time."

"So? it's only a game...I mean, come on..." my sister could not believe my anxiety over a virtual dish getting spoilt.

"NO no no, but I have spent cafe coins to make the dish. It will be a waste. I need to earn more coins to buy additional furniture in my cafe. Also, I need money to decorate it."

"Ufff...are you nuts? You are wasting your time." my sister concluded.

"Will you do it or no?" I asked.

"I may go out myself for dinner with in laws. In that case I won't be able to do the needful but other wise I ll do it on my laptop at home." now it was she who shocked me.

"What? You won't be at home? Oh no! what do I do now?" I was genuinely restless.

"Come off it, ok?" with a sisterly remark, she hung up.

I had to look for someone else to do this simple job for me. I thought of all my friends who could have helped me. I even thought of my mother but then I immediately brushed the thought off my mind because that would mean lot of training right from switching on my laptop, then the internet wifi, etc etc.

Then I remembered my friend from Pune who is also my cafe friend.

"Yes, she would understand me," with a ray of hope, I called my friend in Pune, explained to her my difficulty and told her authoritatively to do the job.

With a mild laughter, she apologized to me saying that her internet connection was not working at home.

But she definitely understood my feelings...she was a virtual cafe owner herself.

"Don't worry dear, your dish won't go off for a few hours because it took one day to cook. It will stay fresh till morning. so don't you worry. Serve it in the morning"

"Oh, that's great. I did not know this." I was joyous.

"and one more thing, if at all your dish goes off, your cafe neighbour can "unspoil" it." she added with a command.

Totally relieved from my anxiety, I thanked her for the most valuable information she provided.

As soon as I returned from dinner that night, I logged in my cafe world and served my dish.

"This is not a work of fiction. All the characters in the story are real and it will not be coincidental if they resemble many of you."

It's my story and whether you believe it or not, it's true.

I know this may sound foolish to many but I get immense joy from spending some time at my cafe. It gives me satisfaction of actually owning a cafe where I take all the decisions of earning and spending and buying and cooking. I feel happy when I see facebook friends visiting my cafe and having food and coffee.

I am sure, many of you are addicted to similar virtual games. If you are an object of ridicule for being a virtual reality addict thereby wasting some of your valuable time, just ignore it.

The time spent in reviving the mind, can not be time wasted.

As long as some activity gives you joy and it does not get out of your control, enjoy it.

Though at your own risk, I would like to say,"Welcome to the world of virtual reality!"

Chaos..Chaos...Chaos...

Oh God....it's so chaotic...ugly and horrible!

It is driving me crazy....

I hate it but I can't help it.

I have to keep going....I mean...driving...!

Yes, I am talking about "driving"....and my big question is... WHY?

Why don't people follow a lane while driving?

Why do taxi drivers drive as though there are no other cars running on the road?

Why do bike-riders ride in such awfully rash manner?

Why do pedestrians walk on almost the middle of the road?

Why do taxis suddenly speed slow just to spot a customer?

Why do pedestrians ignore the desperate honking?

Why do people just appear in the middle of the busy traffic road from nowhere bringing the car to a sudden n frightful stop?

Why? why? why?

Why do drivers talk on cell phone while driving?

Why don't the taxis have the lights on in the night?

Why do bikers go straight ahead without looking even once when actually their signal has turned red?

Why are we so selfish and in the bargain, so careless about the safety of our own life?

What is the hurry?

Where have we to reach so fast, breaking signals, overtaking from the wrong side and ignoring the rules of safe driving?

How I wish we all followed the simple social protocols!

Can't we be more civil in our own country and our own city?

Can't we follow simple rules and live peacefully?

Uff...it is exasperating....but it will continue to be so...I guess..as long as Indians continue to break rules and laws in our own country!

I ask you all earnestly, please tell me, is it really difficult to have disciplined traffic on road?

Can we be more positive and responsible citizens?

Yes. We CAN!

Come on then, LET US BEGIN TODAY...the journey to a responsibly pleasurable living with a disciplined and safe driving!

Blurred, blurred...!

The eyes mist..

The vision is blurred...

Feet cold ...

Can not find the ground...

Just can't move ahead..

Throat choked.

Mind crazy...

Empty empty empty hope....

where am I going?

A complexed complex...

Fighting to grow...

A point of no return...

where else to go???

Where's the Sun?

Where are the rays?

Why things are damp?

Is it the rain?

...Its THE reality!

not a fool's paradise anymore.......

"The Sins Of My Father!"

At 16, while he was talking to his father on telephone, the phone call got traced and the Columbian police gunned down his father. Juan fled out of the country along with his mother Victoria, sister Manuela and his childhood sweetheart, Maria. They travelled many countries right from Peru, Mozambique to South America to take refuge. Their past connection with his father haunted them everywhere and they were denied entry in most of the countries. After the hardships they faced due to their sirname, finally, by entering a witness protection programme, they settled down in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Juan legally changed his name to Sabastien Marroquin, married Maria, and is living a comparatively normal life in Buenos Aires as an architect and Industrial designer. He is now 32.

Does this seem like an interesting hindi feature film story? Well, it’s not!

It’s the real life story of “Juan Pablo Escobar”, the son of the most dreaded drug mafia of Columbia- Pablo Escobar.

In the eighties, Pablo Escobar almost ruled Columbia. He bought cocoa paste from Peru and sold the cocaine in the USA after refining it. Soon his business grew bigger and more dangerous in the form of a notorious cartel – the Medellin cartel. He followed the rule “Plata o plombo” which literally means “Silver or lead” which meant that any politician or judge coming in his way would either be bribed or else killed.

The very promising presidential candidate Luis Galan and the then Minister of Justice Rodrigo Lara lost their lives in the hands of Pablo’s henchmen for standing publicly against his cartel and it’s illegal drug trafficking. The otherwise ruthless Escobar was extremely generous with the common people of Medellin. He donated large sums to build churches, schools and homes. He made a special place for himself in the hearts of the people of Medellin.

When there was increasing pressure from the United States of America for Pablo to be handed over to them under the charges of illegal drug trafficking, the Columbian Government, completely suppressed under Pablo’s threatening reign, found a middle way by asking Escobar to surrender himself to the Police and he was sentenced to 5 years in Jail. Interestingly, Pablo was allowed to build a jail for himself named “The Cathedral”. It had all the amenities and luxuries including a soccer field and a zoo. When he started killing the traitors of his cartel in the Cathedral, the Columbian Government decided to shift him to the normal jail. Pablo then went into hiding.

One day in 1993, while in hiding and untraceable, he was talking to his son, Juan, on telephone and the conversation extended just a few minutes longer. Those extra minutes cost him his life as his call was traced by the Police who gunned him down on a rooftop in Medellin. That was the end of Pablo Escobar, the ruthless, dreadful drug mafia of Columbia.

It was also the beginning of the turbulent life of a pacifist son, Juan Pablo Escobar.

The hardships of drifting from country to country seeking refuge and the torturous fight with the notoriety of the name Escobar, made Juan a positive peace-lover.

“Violence and hatred is inherited in Columbia. But I don’t want to inherit my father’s sins. I am his son. Don’t be like my father”! This is the audacious message 32 year old Juan, now, Sebastien Marroquin, gives to the Columbian people. He apologises publicly to the victims of his father’s ruthless crime. He personally met the son of Rodrigo Lara, the Minister of Justice and the sons of the presidential candidate Luis Galan whose lives were ended by his father.

“Los pikados de mi padre” (The sins of my father), is the documentary film which communicates this message of expiation and of peace to Columbia.

I read about the release of this film few months back in a daily newspaper and I was extremely curious to know the whole story. It was worth sharing it with you.

“The biggest victim of the drug-trafficking trade, apologizing to the other innumerable victims of his father’s cruelty!

Intriguing, isn't it?

I want to STOP.......DREAMING!

They say, " Never stop dreaming.."!

Ok, I dream!

and I am a fool.

Dreaming of the deepest desires.

Dreaming freaky thoughts.

Dreaming the abstract.

Dreaming the most illogical events.

Dreaming the impossible.

Dreaming the nonsense.

Day dreaming.

Why am I feeling terribly stupid....

hmmmmmmmmmm.......confused!

Disappointed....very much.

All I can say, I dream and therefore I am a fooooooool!

but can one stop dreaming then?

Brain understands,

the mind may not..mostly NOT..

I hate dreaming..but I can't help dreaming.

Well,

Go ahead...Dream and be a fool...just like me!

Sherlock Holmes....

At a dinner at a friend's place the other day, the topic of old television serials came up. All of us distinctly remembered a serial which was a british production, named the "Sherlock Holmes"!

The friend mentioned that the actor who played Sherlock Holmes became mentally ill in the later years due to over obsession with the character he played.

"Oh...I was ignorant of this fact all these years." I felt extremely curious as to what happened to this suave actor who made the name Sherlock Holmes synonymous with his own being".

I have been a fan of the Scottish author Sir Arthur Connon Doyle who created this indestructible sleuth called Sherlock Holmes way back in the 19th century.

"Extreme Intelligence, reasoning created by observation and the deductive skills and the bohemian ways of living were the most striking qualities of this ever so popular character named Sherlock Holmes".

Obviously enough, the role must have posed intimidating challenge to the actor who was to play it.

"Jeremy Brett", born "Peter Jeremy William Huggins" was the man who played the role ever so convincingly on television that one could not separate him from Sherlock Holmes, the fictional character. I vividly remember how I adored this six feet tall, sharp featured Holmes and his eccentric manners while investigating a case at hand.

I saw the television series first and then read all the books written by Sir Arthur and therefore, I always visualised Jeremy Brett as the Holmes I was reading about.

Coming from a wealthy family, Brett was a popular theatre actor who had earlier played Dr. Watson opposite another actor as Sherlock Holmes in a stage play.

When he accepted the role of the detective for a television series, he was bent on portraying the character impeccably so that his Holmes would be remembered forever by the world. He conducted extensive research on the character as well as its author. He maintained a valuable 77 pages file containing everything from Holmes's mannerisms, his eating and drinking habits and so on. He was so obsessed with the fictional Holmes and his manners that he once said,

"some actors are becomers - they try to become their characters. When it works, the actor is like a sponge, squeezing himself dry to remove his own personality, then absorbing the character's like a liquid".

Personal grief and the professional commitment led to tremendous stress on this actor at a point of time in his life. His obsession of understanding Holmes went beyond his limits and that in turn led to mental illness in the form of manic depression. The illness made deep impact on his personality which was evident on the sets of Sherlock Holmes series which was being shot after his discharge from the rehabilitation centre.

At the age of 59, Brett died of a heart failure at his home in England.

What an irony of life! The person who played the legendary detective, known for his intellectual prowess and analytical skills, should succumb to a mental illness in the later years of life.

Brett's dedication and committment to create a world famous Holmes did not let him realise the fact that it was making him ill. He once said that "many actors fear that if they played Holmes for a very long run, the character will steal their soul, leave no corner for the original inhabitant".

If only had he realised then that the other actors's fear had actually become his reality.

No wonder Brett once quoted that,

"Holmes is the hardest part I have ever played - harder than Hamlet or Macbeth. Holmes has become the dark side of the moon for me. He is moody and solitary and underneath I am really sociable and gregarious. It has all got too dangerous".

Salut to this great actor!

The blue day...

Some days just come and go... trailing uneasiness and nervousness.

Becoming positive is good. It really works.

Still there are moments when I forget all about being positive..and inspite of all the mental efforts, the day just looks grim and I wait for a glim..that little light which might give me a ray of hope for a better day....

Yes, we have read that life is mixture of good days, not so good days, bad days, great days....and may be blue days???

It seems easier to take in stride a bad day.

May be sometimes things dont work out the way we want or someone says something which hurts and so on..

When u know what's wrong..it can be dealt with.

What about a seemingly normal day which looks blue to me???

What about all the positive thinking which I feel has seeped in me well?

Just a blue day....a blue mood....

Sunshine tomorrow?